Once you and your family decide to move to the suburbs, you’ll recognize a sort of trend. And then, after a bit of time, you’ll realize you’re doing it too and have morphed into a suburban mom.
I grew up in a small town and then lived in the city for most of my adult life. A few years ago, my husband and I moved our family to the suburbs. I now catch myself doing some of these things and just have to laugh. I hope these signs make you giggle too.
You Know You’re a Suburban Mom When . . .
Here are just some of the ways that you can know you’re a suburban mom.
1. Loud noises in the neighborhood annoy you.
One of the perks of living out in the burbs is how quiet it is. So when someone blares their music, revs up their engine, or shoots fireworks in the neighborhood and wakes up your baby, you secretly plot their death and silent rage . . . or maybe not so silently.
2. You’ve worn pajamas outside with no shame.
In the burbs, you have more space. And because you live further away from people, they can’t see you as well or see what you’re wearing. Wearing pajamas outside on my deck or taking out the trash is my business. And also, who cares?
3. Anywhere you go is a “special outing” because it takes at least a 10-minute car ride to get anywhere.
Since everything is a 10-minute car ride away or longer, it is a “special outing” for the kids whenever you leave the house. The grocery store, Chick-fil-A, soccer practice. It’s a production. And when you go out, you might as well go to all of the places you need to run your errands.
4. You have between two kids and a football team’s amount of kids.
It can be expensive to raise a family in the city. Once you have a child or two, you might be more interested in having a bigger house, more outdoor space for them to play, good public schools, etc. It’s also quiet in the burbs, and there’s not too much to do, so more babies can get made. 😉 And when you’re hollering at them, you get their names mixed up.
5. You own a minivan.
Because you have all of these kids, nothing seems better than a minivan. Those sliding doors seduced you, and you are now rocking out in your new ride. You’re probably listening to 90s music or gangster rap too. And your husband probably owns a truck. Or wants one.
6. Your four-year-old is a “professional” athlete.
You have them in gymnastics, soccer, swimming, dance, cheerleading, and more. And you are more than happy to help coach them on the sidelines and give them inspiration.
7. You have all the mom apparel and 35 different travel cups.
You own and rock all the “mama” t-shirts, necklaces, sweatshirts, and more. And because you’re hauling your kids to the 15 after-school activities you signed them up for, you own tons of different travel cups or mugs to carry your coffee. (But there might be something other than coffee in there too.)
8. Leggings are life.
Leggings are pants. I said what I said. And yes, you will wear them to play dates, baby music class, school pick-up, basically all the places. Because in your mind, leggings are acceptable everywhere.
9. You have your hair in a mom bun 5 days out of the week.
The “mom bun” is pretty much a suburban mom’s everyday go-to hairstyle. It pairs so well with your leggings.
10. You frequent Target so much that the cashier knows your cycle.
Okay, you probably love Target even if you live in the city, but us suburban moms get extra excited for Target and the Starbucks inside. As I mentioned earlier, getting out of the house is a special outing. Going to Target is your “you time.” You let Target show you what you need. It always makes you feel better. You also frequent Hobby Lobby and Marshall’s if you want to make another stop.
11. You “started your own business” and joined an MLM or started a blog.
If you’re not repping your oils, makeup, tupperware, skincare line, sex toys, apparel line, hair products at a friend’s hosted party, you probably started a blog to document your life and your family’s life. Or you volunteer full-time at your kids’ school. Mama’s workin’ it!
12. You’ve used a discount code or Groupon for eyelash extensions, a spray tan, vajazzling, or microblading.
It was a good deal. And mama wants to look good. 😉
13. You have Bath & Body Works soaps and candles everywhere in your house.
There are not enough candles that can make you feel more relaxed . . . but you’re sure gonna try. You also change them throughout the year to match the season’s scents.
14. You have a “Life, Laugh, Love” or “Gather” or “Faith, Hope, Love” sign in your house.
As a suburban mom, you need to let your guests know that you live, laugh, and love in your house.
15. Drive-thrus and Curbside Pick-Ups are your favorite.
You are so happy if you don’t have to get the kids out of the car for every stop you need to make.
As much as I joke, I love being a suburban mom. City moms are great too, but I love my life, the stage I’m in, and where I live right now.
